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Read. Suffer. Try to Enjoy.

A Case Study In 'Systemspeak'

This deals with the phrases I've picked up in my stint in the IT industry so far...any more contributions are welcome.

Fatt Gaya:
This is used by the male of the species and the female alike. It does take a while to get used to, especially when you hear it from the ladies. The usage has a nasty tendency to spill over at home, thus earning you dirty looks from your parents. Used to signify code failures...
"Mera code woh line pe fatt gaya...."
"Us line pe kya fata hai dekh jara...?"

This word has been deified by Altaf Raja. Here it is used to signify a pesky little problem you are not quite able to pinpoint, especially if you are a 'support slave'.
"Kuch to panga hai yaar...samajh mein nahi aa raha hai"

Fight maar raha hai:
This phrase is used to signify an uphill, useless struggle against Murphy and his diktats.If there is an impossible thing/ production issue... The TL uses this to mollify the big cats...

Big Cat : "Kya hua woh problem ka ?"
TL (earnestly) : "Chal raha hai ...(whatshisname) fight maar raha hai uspe..."

Also used by the plankton in the food chain to buy more time from the TLs...

TL : "Kya hua woh problem ka ?"
Plankton (earnestly) : "Chal raha hai ...main fight maar raha hoon uspe..."

Very versatile in usage, as you can see...

Going forward:
Bad...bad word(s). Usually used when everybody's (I mean EVERYBODY) got a sound earful for NOT doing something the way it was supposed to be done. It has a very ominous and dire tone to it... 'Going Forward'... we will be doing this...we will be doing that…or else... (Of course no one completes the 'or else' part)

On a very critical path:
Most dreaded...if this phrase is applied to describe your activity, rest assured you are going to forget about your personal life till the blasted thing is not complete.

No issues:
Quaint and just generally factored into the conversations to show how accomodating you are....works best when sucking up to the client.
"No issues...I'll take care of that for u"
"No issues...don't do it the next time around..."

In the Loop:
"Mark a CC on your mails to me"
Sounds very crude as compared to "just keep me in the loop", right?

Bring him up the curve:
Intended usage :
Train the new guy
Fallout :

He becomes just as cynical and despondent as you as time goes by...at that stage, he has 'come up the curve'. Heh-Heh.

The baadshah of all the above.
This word has the most aspirational value ... this is generally used to summarize half an hour's worth of bull into a sentence which everybody knew before the meeting started.
"Blah Blah Blah Blah...Yaketty Yak Yak Yak...."
Somebody interrupts
"So net-net what you mean to say is...(distilled essence)"
The day you can actually use 'net-net' without actually giving yourself an abdominal muscle pull from the laughter, you know you've made it.
Till that time, we have to make do with situations like :
4 developers (A,B,C and D) go to the canteen for snacks.
The waiter gets you a total bill for 38.50.
You squabble and squint, and arrive at the individual contributions.
One guy grandly summarizes...
Net-net A Pays 10
B pays 11
C pays 9
D pays 8.50
Bon-homie and nods all around...

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8:16 PM, September 07, 2005
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about "TOUCH BASE" with some one. First time i heard it was from a fat lady manager of mine, whose base I never wanted to touch ;-)



10:43 PM, November 05, 2007
Blogger Ashaya said...

how About "Nahi Nahi Yeh/Woh To Galat Hain" man this sentence really pisses me of . you have worked your A** to get something done and then some so called senior comes up to you and utters these words
why can't they just say "There is a better way of achieving the same"    

11:07 AM, July 28, 2008
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As discussed... to implement that the onus of any negative result is on you and not me...

Your baby... this again implies transference of responsibilty...one would want to have the time to get married and have a proper baby... not a project that is going downhill.    

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