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Dirtscapes

Read. Suffer. Try to Enjoy.

When Locusts Attack - The Wardat Movie Review

Fresh from the narrow escape from Dr. Shiva's clutches, Gunmaster-G9 took it easy for some time. But alas, as fate, the audience, and a new villain would have it, he was forced to come back from his bohemian lifestyle, and do what he does best. Save the world. From (a) Wardat(that's chaste Hindi for catastrophe).

This movie is not as flamboyant as Surakksha, but has its place in history as one of the few franchises that Bollywood can boast of. The opening sequences feature a whole load of people running helter skelter as if somebody was on the prowl, trying to make them watch Himesh Reshammiya's videos, with what suspiciously look like goat-turds (
lendi in Marathi) raining down everywhere you look. A couple of frames and some suspension of rationality later, you are informed that they are 'locusts'.

A secret agent (lets call him question mark) who ends every sentence with a (you guessed it) question mark, is bumped off by the baddies when he starts to secretly photograph the locusts and their whereabouts, leaving his sister, Dr. Pratibha (the delectable Kalpana Iyer) vowing revenge on the killer. Shakti (Shakti Kapoor) plays her paramour and the second level baddie, who tells her that G9 is responsible for question mark's gory (and bloodless, if I may add) death, at the hands of a Bruce Lee look-alike, complete with a mop top. G9 is thus 'marked for death', to use a Steven Seagal-ism.


G9 is then ferreted out from a night-club where he evidently dances part-time for a living, because there is no one else on the dance floor save his holy self and a bunch of painted, buxom chicks, prancing around to some pyschedelic, neuron-altering blastbeats by Bappida.

G9 delves deep into his entomological self, and discovers that the locust samples which question mark had sent to the agency earlier before croaking, were not normal locusts. He cross-references them with mounted specimens of all the locusts in the world, and in 5 minutes flat, announces his findings. The locusts all have micro-receivers implanted in them, which obey certain 'weblengths', which can control their directional movements, and urge them to wreak havoc. What is subtly implied that the bio-engineering is soadvanced, that these killer locusts look like ‘lendi’s from afar. A brilliant depiction of artificially intelligent camouflage, which has been unparalleled so far.

G9's philandering ways are very subtly put across in one scene, where his love interest (played by the bubbly Kajal Kiran) who asks him about his earlier flame (Ranjeeta from Surakksha).G9 just shrugs it off
"Sagaai hui thi... shaadi to nahi hui na?!"
No further explanations, no further justifications. Just that. Totally "Hai fida... to aa (fill in the rest)..nahi to (again, fill in the rest)". Never the one for sappy emotions, our boy G9.

Then it's time to get on the trail of the main guy. But first, Dr. Pratibha tries to seduce G9, gets G9 captured, G9 escapes, and then converts her onto his team. Whew. Then the whole gang set out into a jungle from whence came the locusts, and stumble upon the faux-egyptian-decor laden den of the Level-1 Baddie – Jumbola (another mad scientist). And yeah… read and say that again. Jumbola.

G9 is greeting by what looks like a gang of cabbies wearing fencing masks, with Samurai swords in hand. Very evil. In fact, the only more evil cabbies are the ones that can be found around both the Mumbai airports. He swats them aside and enters inside,stumbling upon a stunning presentation in progress by Shakti for a bunch of African dudes (who for some reason, keep grinning throughout).



Shakti is selling Jumbola's four point plan for total world annihilation :
1) A row of plastic-looking babies, with their brains wired
to a row of red zero-watt bulbs. They will grow up to be 'mental slaves', who will do your every bidding. (To the Wachowski brothers…boys, now we know…)
2) Genetically modified food-grains which will cripple future generations of children.
3) Magic 'drops' which give south Indian female extras Asterix-type strength.
4) And of course, the killer locusts.

G9 busts the party, and comes face to face with Jumbola, who offers him a job in his tangy Tamil baritone, garnished with laughter that sounds like a series of bass-guitar arpeggios.

G9's calm, calculated response?
"Nahi Jumbola, meri aur tumhari dosti kabhi nahi ho sakti, kyonki main ek insaan hoon. Aur tum? Haiwan!"

Now this guy has one of the most interesting visages I've ever seen. Kind of reminded me of a newbie who's boarded a Virar Fast, and dared to try and get down at Andheri, thus getting a make-over in the process.

Slight tangent for Non-Mumbaikars begins:
Virar is a Mumbai suburb which is serviced by 'fast' local trains majorly, which are the ultimate in travelling by comfort, if your idea of comfort is hanging on for life by your fingernails and pretty much nothing else. There are a couple of very pampered suburbs which are called Andheri and Borivli in between, which are serviced a tad better by 'slow' AND 'fast' locals (you get to hang on for life by your fingers AND toes). This leads to some brilliant, animal antagonism in a Virar local, if somebody wants toget down at either of the above stops.
Slight tangent for Non-Mumbaikars ends:

Jumbola as a villain must be commended for one point though – the socio-economic upliftment of the tribals who live in the jungle, alongside his den. This is evident from the sheer number of traditional Bollywood dress wearing tribals who are gainfully employed in his army, alongside uniformed men and the the cabbie-fencers mentioned above.

G9 does the song-dance-fight routine (no ninjas this time around, just Shakti), throws Jumbola to the locusts (no lions here... sorry), and high-tails it just before the whole lair explodes. The world would then breathe easy yet again, and you all know whom to thank.

Footnote
I used to think that this was the last G9 movie to come out, but then, the Internet does have its surprises. I came to know that there is one more to go... called Saahas/Sahhas. And so, the seeker must seek. All over again.
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10:48 PM, March 09, 2006
Blogger SEV said...

Say what one will.. for all our complaining about hindi movies being unoriginal.. Hollywood action is ripped from these gems.
Remember one Neo vs a thousand Smiths ? Rajnikanth.. And now even the basic idea of the Matrix.
I say we rate these movies up.. and get them into the top 250 in IMDB :D

Lecter can take a running jump.. Jumbola is the new man !    



4:45 PM, March 11, 2006
Anonymous Nachowski said...

Haha, I really enjoyed going through all your posts. May suggest that you take up the works of Dev Anand and Rajnikant next?    



9:36 PM, March 11, 2006
Blogger Tapan said...

Satish,
Dude... Jumbola rocks. He kinda reminded me of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now - self-styled 'god of tribals' types... :)
And now that you mention IMDB, Mithunda has an entry with a pretty comprehensive filmography out there, what with character names and credits and all.


Nachowski,
Thanks for the feedback man. Dev Sahab and Rajni rock too - maybe I need to do a little homework there... their movies don't really POSSESS me like Mithunda's do. :)    



4:33 PM, March 13, 2006
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I started reading this blog I thought it wiuld never end, and I can't believe I read this completely, it is simply awesome. Esp. your metaphors.    



10:42 PM, March 13, 2006
Blogger Tapan said...

anonymous,
Thank you for your kind words. Point about verbosity and length noted though :D
Can't help it though, these movies deserve a detailed analysis, for the whole world to see...    



12:40 AM, March 14, 2006
Blogger GREATBONG said...

Beautiful...amazing....I bow my head ooh great Bhakt...the world is now a happier place.    



8:37 AM, March 14, 2006
Blogger Tapan said...

Greatbong,
Thank ye! Thank ye! Honoured that you stopped by :)    



2:23 PM, May 22, 2006
Blogger abeer said...

Although I'm a bit late to comment, but your blog has left me speechless...
In RAIT, your name was spoken about in whispers... amongst all the pseudo Mithun fans (including me), who loved to mock the man without ever having seen his works. "He (Tapan) was the only one who knew it all", they said.
Today, as I read this, a new inspiration awakens in me... I must pay homage to THE GOD, I must seek his works, I must enrich myself...    



9:07 AM, May 23, 2006
Blogger Tapan said...

Abeer,
Dude... left handed as that seems, I'll accept the compliment about me knowing it all... :)

Am happy for you that you have seen the light. May your tribe increase...    



4:29 AM, May 24, 2006
Blogger G-9 said...

Hey Dude, the film Sahhas is not a Gunmaster movie. it's from the same director and with mithun and jagdeep though, mithun plays a customsofficer xtraorinary with his assistant jagdeep. A very cool movie! The Questionmarkmans name in Wardat is Anand. I saw this movie a freaking 10.000 times at least. My dad bought it back in 81. Part 1 Surakksha I saw quadriple dipple kazipille times more... infact i claim to have seen Surakksha more than anyone else on this freakin planet! When I studied or nowadays work in my office, Surakksha plays in the background, just like someone plays a cd, i play the movie over and over, Since 1980... When I was 4... I know every crack sound and lyric from the movie and i am proud...pretty sick huh! Greets...G-9 (Rakesh A. Gogar)    



5:14 PM, December 20, 2007
Anonymous mock said...

Gunmaster Rocks ! I have been a fan of Mithunda for zillions of years, as a kid I remember connecting far better with G9 i Wardaat than any bond movie, even now the movies are cool to watch, really unless you are the kind that likes to look down on things Indian    



6:47 AM, February 02, 2008
Blogger flinty said...

hey dude, can u please post this movie online, on google videos or some other place perhaps, mail me on konartiz@gmail.com    



6:52 PM, January 29, 2009
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi bloggers , i am looking for a dvd copy of : wardat gunmaster g9, this is a very sentimental movie that we 3 brothers asre dying to get our hand on, email me please:hp@creativeit.co.za    



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