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Dirtscapes

Read. Suffer. Try to Enjoy.

Kknowledge Kgained Kfrom K8-K11 Kpm

My TV has conked out since the last week. Part of me is sad because it’s really strange to eat your food staring at the plate and nothing else. But another part of me is really happy because there are no ‘Indian value reinforcing’ serials assaulting my senses when I get home after work.

But a little reflection made me realize that we should actually be grateful to the makers of these serials for the following


  1. For showing anybody who cares that India has the best plastic surgeons in the world. They not only transform faces, but also voice, height, and weight ... would be interesting to see what they could do with sexual orientation (Oops! Have I given a future 'track' away?). This should serve as a big boost to the efforts at promoting Medical Tourism here in India. Am sure there is a mad rush already for PG seats in Plastic Surgery.

  2. For showing us that ‘Robot Farts’ can be used as effective background scores for every situation. (At least that’s what those metallic whooshing sounds every 5 nanoseconds sound like to me)

  3. For showing us that Indian society is a lot more progressive than we think it is. Families accept incest, rape, extra-marital affairs, bastard children, and murder as calmly as they accepted the last petrol price hike. "Happens, so what?" kind of thing. It’s really cool to see someone outside your marriage, but after proper demonstrations of remorse, and listening to thunderous, frustratingly teary speeches by your wife (accompanied by a regular orchestra of the sounds mentioned in point 2 of course), and your mistress to boot, which last for a week or two, you can get by. After all, divorce is still a bad word for the wife. She will take all your crap, and live with it. Not immediately of course (otherwise how would WE be ‘entertained’?!), but eventually everything turns out OK, since the mistress either dies or has a change of heart to complement a change of face.

  4. For actually showing us how some festivals are meant to be celebrated, in excruciating detail, every year. It never hurts to keep on learning, does it? After all this is our ‘culture’ (that you would see more culture on a week-old, non-refrigerated piece of bread is besides the point here…at least that’s what the cynics say anyways. Boo to them! We LOVE this, don't we?)

  5. For giving a chance to so many classic pieces of human furniture, to actually face something called as a camera, and to try and do something called as acting/emoting. Our lives would be so dull without these fine people trying their best to entertain us. Commendable.

  6. For hooking women on to a daily 'weepie-waily' fix far more addictive than Manali grade pot, and single-handedly impacting dinner times the nation over. The withdrawal symptoms that people exhibit when actually watching a decent comedy show, are downright revolting... (Why is everybody so HAPPY?! What?! Ain't nobody cryin'? Am outttaaa here!!)

  7. For beating H.G. Wells (God bless his soul) at his time-travel fantasies. 20 years in one episode is a marvel. And plus the ladies look HOTTER as they ‘age’ (that probably explains why I have such a major older woman fixation). And also for making 20 something actors pull off the older roles with just a solitary streak of white in their jet black hair, and with such wonderful attention to detail and the nuances of older age. Nothing short of histrionic history.
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