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Dirtscapes

Read. Suffer. Try to Enjoy.

Fizzy (Headed) Pride

The newest joy in my life is a series of ads by a cola major, a majority of which feature a sepoy mutinous (sic) actor, who strangely looks like he so badly wanted to be someplace else. My favourite part? The ultra-inspirational punch line. “Piyo sar uthaake”.

Well of course I would be proud (if that’s what you think the play on words is meant to be. If it’s not, stop reading here) to be sipping six/ten bucks worth of sweet fizzy stuff. It does show my spending power. The very best in life. I have truly arrived, and I need no further confirmation. Piyo sar uthaake.
(A Chappell Finger to all you doubters)

It is making my life better. Can’t quite tell you how - it is such an intangible thing, but it’s working. Piyo sar uthaake.

It is going to instill so much pride in me that I’m gonna be a totally new person once I plonk down that empty glass bottle. A sugar rush is one thing. A change in self-image is another. The twain are obviously supposed to meet. Piyo sar uthaake.

Why shouldn’t I drink, ‘sar uthaake’ anyways? Assuming I’ve paid or am gonna pay for the drink, I’m not gonna be exactly furtive about the act of drinking right? (Now if the cola’s been suitably refined with C2H5OH, and you are in a public place, that’s another story altogether. But let’s stick to the family version here). This evidently serves as another affirmation of your honesty. You are not cheating the shopkeeper. Piyo sar uthaake.

In one spot, we are helpfully informed that the cola is made the same way, irrespective of geographical location. This should probably make us feel fantastically on par with the rest of the world; at least as far as the cola making industry is concerned. Piyo sar uthaake.

The only catch is that the models all drink straight from the bottle, without a straw. Which mandates that one has to tilt one’s head slightly, and hold the bottle at a slightly elevated angle, to partake of the precious nectar being advertised. So the limitations of the human anatomy, the basic laws of physics and of course the ad, all come together to exhort you to (you guessed it…you’re getting good at this) piyo sar uthaake! Nahi to kaise aur kahaan se peeyega?!

Stunning. Of Course.
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