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Read. Suffer. Try to Enjoy.

Chirp Chirp

Recently read a newspaper article calling Greg Chappell (along with Sonia Gandhi) one of the most influential persons in India.


Influential as far as Indian cricket goes. Fine. But on a ‘national’ level? Am pretty sure even he wouldn’t have imagined he would be called so, a year back. But now, he’s done it.

Blame our media’s fixation on the wonderful game of cricket, if you have to blame anything at all. Anything that’s involved in this sport, is evidently on a national level, with front page headlines screaming out the vaguest and most trivial cricket related news like menopausal banshees. Cricket is after vital to the very well being of our country, our mindsets, and our sense of self-worth.

Oh, Is it now?

Is it really worth all the hype?

Don’t we ever get tired of the way the our ‘National’ eleven keep on playing to lose time and again, with carefully interspersed ephemeral wins which are just about enough to prevent the entire country from getting knocked into clinical depression? Losing is not bad, but the way they lose most of the times is downright depressing. Without a fight, like lily-livered lemmings.

Don’t we ever get tired of the relentless display of their ‘Make-Hay-While-The-(Chappellesque)-Sun-Shines-Moment’ faces every time you dare to switch channels? Pimping every ****ing product imaginable with perfectly wooden aplomb? Barf.

Don’t we ever get tired of the fact that we never have been the undisputed champions of a game (like Australia’s in recent times) which is played by a handful of countries?

Don’t we ever get tired of the tacky commentary being dished out by faceless, neurologically challenged has-beens, doling out imperious advice to players who are light-years ahead of them even when they play with both hands tied behind their back. Rule of thumb? The tackier the news channel, the crappier the quality of these commentators and the post-match analysis reports. Add a couple of suitably presented ‘non cricket related ladies’ and it’s TRP heaven. A Diana Eduljee I can understand. A chick who knows her stuff, and is truly passionate about the game, I can really understand. But this? Teriyaadi. Teriyaadi. Teriyaadi. Who gives a flying **** as to what these sages say?!!! Maybe they could have shown us a little bit of what they are claiming to be all about now, in their glory days. To criticize somebody constructively, I believe you have to be on an equal or higher footing than the object of your ‘suggestions’. Which totally rules these stalwarts out.

Don’t we ever get tired of the way our boys play overseas when faced with true, lethal pace? The deer caught in the headlights stuff? And then a while later, when those foreign teams come and play on our dust bowls here…we snatch a couple of victories, draw a series, the media gleefully masturbates all over them, and it becomes the resurgence of Indian cricket all over again. Right. Till the next tour abroad that is. A couple of unavoidable losses there, and the breast-beating starts all over again.

On all accounts (jam packed stadiums for every ODI, barely series-old players being proclaimed ‘hotties’ thereby exploding in the print and visual media - to name just a couple), the above questions have a single resounding answer.


Maybe it’s India’s tropical climate, with no winter depression stuff. Or maybe it’s just the undying optimism of the common man. Or maybe we are a nation of masochists. Hats off to the resilience of the Indian cricket fan. Sacrificing a whole bunch of productive days just to see our boys excel as usual, takes dedication and blind faith of the highest order. I have just one thing to say. Make the cricketers’ pay strictly performance-oriented. If you play to win, you eat. Else nada. Needless to say, the endorsements will automatically dry up if you keep on playing with nothing to lose. And then maybe, just maybe… the Indian cricket fans might get treated with a little more respect, and get both their money’s and their emotions’ worth. Nothing like a distended vision of Utopia to brighten up a dreary Sunday afternoon, what?
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12:22 AM, December 29, 2005
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5:28 PM, January 11, 2006
Blogger SEV said...

Its a debate that will never end.. Does Indian cricket ever truly satisfy ?
Not really.
You realise a lot of the futility when you come abroad, and there is lesser exposure to the craziness. Then the cynicism creeps in, and you decide that cricket.. is just not playing cricket.    

10:05 PM, February 28, 2006
Anonymous Sudharshan Rao said...

exactly what i feel about indian cricket    

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