Dirtscapes

• First up, how else do you expect the employees of the various agencies who look after these roads to survive on the salaries that you give them? Out of your taxes? Downright impossible. If you build roads that last for more than a year, then where would they be? Have a heart before you crib twice. Supporting a family don't come easy, my people. A man has to do what he's got to do.

• For too long, car and tyre manufacturers have been crowing about superior suspensions and smoother rides. Somebody has to do the dirty job of actually proving them all wrong. You know, exposing that niggly little asterisk which leads to the fine print called "Under standard test conditions". As if such conditions exist in the real world. The claims like their superior suspensions deserve to be blown to smithereens. How can they possibly mislead the general public thus? How?!

• With increasing urbanization, people really do not get enough exercise (eyeball exercise which occurs as a result of leching at women doesn't really burn too many calories). Our rural brothers anyways get a lot of exercise, what with those trips for water, healthcare and food. In the greater public interest, somebody actually has to whip our sedentary urban behinds into some semblance of shape. And what better way than to get a full body particulate blasting? Every molecule in your body when shaken, gets excited and reaches a higher energy level. Then when it comes back to the original state, releases a lot of energy, which has miraculous lipid burning properties. So it's all in the public good. We do not want obesity problems do we? Will add to the problem of plenty that we perenially face. This also serves as a good way to cut down your dietary intake while commuting. With all that lurching, you will not really want to stuff yourself like the greedy little pig that you are, not just before travelling at least.

• In another technological marvel, the roads that we get to travel on, actually look to be built using a sugar composite. A very farsighted move (pun intended if applicable), considering how we should be reducing our dependency on petroleum and related products which go into the whole road building process. So what if the roads get washed away every year, on the first advent of a couple of millimeters of rain? A small price to pay if you ask me. The nation's self sufficiency in Energy resources is at stake here.

• "What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare?" as good old W H Davies put it. Evidently somebody in the agencies is a RABID fan of that particular poet. A very noble and laudable effort that, considering the only thing I want to do while going home at 10 in the night, is to stand AND stare at traffic or watch my fingernails grow. Kinda teaches you about the bigger picture. There IS somebody who thinks about you, who cares for you, who wants you to understand what life is all about. I'm so choking up as I type this. Thank You!

• And lastly, bad roads do go a long way in promoting foreign investment. At least in the IT and allied sectors. Let me explain how. Ever see that Chevy with that big shot foreigner dude sitting in that plush white leather back seat, rocking away to glory going WTF?! WTF?! He just can't believe it. Software powerhouse of the world, and roads straight out of Bosnia. One more tale of diversity to take home, apart from the standard ones of people taking a dump just outside our 'IT Parks'. What does this translate into? Firstly, it contributes richly to our 'poor' image. This kind of colouring will ensure that even if the hourly billing rate goes up by a buck or two, it won't be that noticeable. They'd figure that we probably need that money for infrastructure development. How expensive can their software services get when their roads are so poor?

You've GOT to give credit where it's due. I for one have totally stopped cribbing.